(Yikes, because there was no such gun.) I’ve come a long way since those days largely because I started videotaping myself so that I could see how I come across to others when I’m talking.
In fact, you need to simultaneously work on managing the anxiety that so many shy men and women feel on a new date.
Let me share a couple of techniques that will make you feel less anxious when you really want to sit back and enjoy your date. I’ll share a trick that I have used in my career which has helped tremendously.
The behaviors I highlight above all work to get you out of your head and into the moment so that you can enjoy your date in real-time – not just survive it.
My final reminder is that nothing breaks the ice quite like plain old honesty, so don’t be shy – ahem – about telling your new date that you’ve had the shy bug for years.
The good news is that you can often fidget with your fingers on a date without having your date even know by keeping your hands in your pockets or under the table if you’re out for that romantic dinner.
The takeaway: Shyness often gets better with age and practice.
So, which techniques can help you get out of your head so that you can actually relax and enjoy your date?
First, wear a distracting clothing item or accessory.
Redirect your thoughts to your interests and talk about those on a new date.
Steer the conversation to vacation spots you love, television programs you follow, or authors you read.
He practices in Los Angeles and treats a wide range of issues and disorders and specializes in relationships, parenting, and addiction.