In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.
And while sharing parallel life experiences with someone has its clear comforts, it’s not exactly jerk-off material.
Often younger people have less queer trauma.”And then you have to deal with all the haters.
And then maybe, eventually, you’ll be able to pay it forward and be the teacher, which is a dynamic that feels simultaneously perverse and generous (a good combo).
Like for example, it’s been kinda thrilling to be able to say, “Oh, you’ve never had a girl finger your butt before?
Somehow I just ended up here.”But Chelsea says there are benefits to a generational gap.
“Everyone thinks that some sort of power imbalance in a relationship is hot, even if they don’t admit it,” Chelsea said.
The Older Man had cool friends who had made movies and weren’t on their parents’ family plan. But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly.
He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.Like, relationships are hard enough without your friends warning that your younger boyfriend is “using you.” Chelsea recalled, “In my previous relationship, when I had to tell my parents that I was dating someone nearly 30 years older than me, that was obviously stressful. People would shout stuff at us on the street, or mistake her for my mother, which always totally weirded me out.”Also, there are physical realities.“When you’re dating a young hot person, you’re suddenly like fuck—I have to go to the gym,” Chelsea said. “I definitely have anxieties about my younger girlfriend outgrowing this relationship, because that’s a risk when you have an age gap.”It’s not surprising that dating a young person might highlight your insecurities about aging.I filed both of these under “things you can only appreciate while middle-aged.” But despite the age difference (and his idiosyncrasies) we had some things in common.For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.For dates, it was never a question whether he would pay, because I plainly couldn’t afford his lifestyle, and he vetoed the consumption of bodega buffets.