Make it happen: If it’s the whole female-power thing that excites you, ask your girlfriend if you can pick the heels she wears out on date night, then choose the shoes that turn you on the most, suggests Sitron.
“It’s a symbol of the bad-boy, motorcycle jacket archetype.” Make it happen: Don’t break out the hardcore gear in the beginning.
Sitron suggests starting with everyday objects, like a necktie or the tie of your robe—“things that are relatively non-threatening.” Or, if material matters, look for leather restraints that have Velco closures.
D., a sex therapist who specializes in alternative sexual behaviors.
Related Video: “But if you take the same fetish down to a level 2—a partner saying, ‘Why don’t you tie my wrists to the bedpost?
One in five women are more excited by a new pair of shoes than their sexual partners, according to a new survey by “They’ve become a symbol of feminine power and aggressiveness—of men’s craving for female dominance.” In some cases, though, a shoe fetish may actually indicate a desire to avoid real sexual interaction.
“It’s a way of indirectly fantasizing about a woman,” says Jacobey.
“If people feel powerful and have an authoritarian position in their job or family, they often seek something very different.” Bondage may not seem like a true fetish, but that’s probably just because it’s become more mainstream. Still, some psychologists argue that act of bondage is simply a convenient forum for often-eroticized objects, like leather.
“Culturally, leather has a lot of power,” says Sitron.
(Sir Mix-a-Lot was right.) There’s even a name for this: pygophilia.
Whereas other fetishes are usually triggered by a childhood event—a learned behavior—this one may be more innate.
“The human species is naturally attracted to butts,” says Jacobey.